Gordon Brown resigning?

Reports of Gordon Brown resigning are untrue. He should resign, of course, it would be the “honorable” thing to do, but he has not done so. He is not an honorable man.

He will cling (it seems) to the soft political underbelly of the British People as long as he possibly can, regardless of the wounds he inflicts in the process. He justifies this damage he is doing with a series of half-baked, hardly thought-out, suggestions that he, like some Capitan America or Spiderman, is the ONLY individual, the only politician that can oversee changes that will bring British politics back into the light.

Ollie C says, TWAT!

Mr. Brown’s hanging on to power like a leach or limpet is very embarrassing to observe. It is the equivalent of watching an idiot pantomime, where the “star” of the show breaks-down, dribbles irrelevances, and steps back into the shadows half-aware of the spectacle he has made of himself! In short it is a form of madness!

Even though he probably has only a few days left in office, Mr. Brown will not do the “right” thing and resign; instead he will continue to claw and gouge the body politic. He is finished and knows it, but lacks the courage or moral strength to acknowledge this simple fact before the world.

Ultimately he will be forced to relinquish his grip…and by those people who were once his friends.

“I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.”
(Stevie Smith)

Jacqui Smith to resign

Ms Smith it seems is deeply hurt by comments over expenses…Ollie C supposes she would have been far happier if no revelations had been made…as would many other MPs, both great and small.

Her plan it seems is to leave the cabinet but still to defend her Redditch seat at the next general election…at least she will be unable to claim for her lost deposit on expenses.

Ollie C says, never mind, cheer-up, with all those digital cameras you purchased a career in photography would seem appropriate.

Balls under attack over baby P affair

Ed Balls has come under attack from David Clark, director-general of the Society of Local Authority Chief Executives (Solace) for his handling of the baby P affair; “Apparently it is hard to recruit and retain childcare social workers so Mr Balls thinks more tax payers money is the solution. In fact Mr Balls does not have the solution since he is part of the problem,” writes Clark.

“Anybody who witnessed the disgusting spectacle of politicians pillorying the social work profession after the death of Baby P cannot help but be revolted. Pandering to certain sections of the media, politicians of varying political hues were happy to put the boot in to social workers at every level. This preparedness to opine, wholly unencumbered by facts, shows politicians at their worst, and statements like ‘we must ensure that it never happens again’ display politicians at their most stupid.”

“Our parliamentarian leaders need to reflect that, if no one chose the fiendishly difficult job of a childcare social worker, many more children would be harmed. Their pandering to base instincts is one of the reasons why we have difficulty in persuading anyone to pursue this career. Political leaders need to frame this debate in mature reflection on the issues, or soon we may have no childcare social work profession at all.”

Ollie C notes that the Police and NHS came out of the baby P affair very tarnished, too. Unfortunately in any case of this sort a scapegoat is always sort after, and invariably it is the social workers who are in the front line for blame. They are, let’s face it, an easy target.

Ollie C says he would not take a job as a childcare social worker for all the MPs expenses in the world. It is all blame and no gain.

Light Relief…

For all those MPs who are stepping down…at the NEXT election!

Question Time and the Don Valley Rose – an observation

Ollie C says how deeply underwhelmed he was by the appearance of dark-maned, gap-toothed Caroline Flint on BBC TVs “Question Time” last night. The Don Valley Rose will be remembered for her little faux pas as housing minister – she was photographed, confidential documents in hand, those documents leading the following day to headlines of an imminent collapse of the housing market!

Oops!

Before becoming a minister the Guardian newspaper called her “an aardvark-tongued bootlicker”; certainly she was more widely known as one of “Blair’s Babes”. Since October 2008 she has been minister for Europe (a mostly thankless task, one would imagine).

The Rose has a disconcerting habit of wobbling her head before speaking, and last night wore an expression that put Ollie C in mind of a bulldog with its balls in a trap! She has hard, flinty eyes, a dificult to define London  accent and a combative debating style – yet, despite these attributes (or perhaps because of them?), she was most obviously out of her depths. A situation not helped by an almost tribal loyalty to Nu-Labour’s failures.

With Nu-Labour set to flop big time in the forthcoming elections in Europe, it’s hard to see where the Don Valley Rose will sit in any post election Cabinet shake-up? How, Ollie C wonders, does a lady, London born and bred, end up representing an old Yorkshire mining community, anyway?

The dominating personalities during the “Question time” debates were Daniel Hannan (Con) and Nigel Farage (Ukip). Against their performances (for that surely was what they were) the Don Valley Rose looked more than a little wilted, her expression angry and at times preoccupied…the strain of recent events, perhaps?

“…his fate was unknowable, and yet certain!”

“…his fate was unknowable, and yet certain!”

Gordon Brown wanted to be Prime Minister of the United Kingdom for many years. Fact. He struggled, he strived, even connived, in order to realise this one, single-minded goal. Now, his ambition achieved, he finds, like Marlowe’s “Dr. Faustus” –

“Hell hath no limits, nor is circumscribed
In one self place; for where we are is hell,
And where hell is, must we ever be.”

While he may wish away his power and the responsibility, and perhaps crave happier, more convivial times, like Faustus he hopes last minute repentance will save him…his downward spiral from potential greatness (a clean broom to sweep away the terrible events of Czar Tony’s regime), to self-indulgent mediocrity has been saddening to observe…wishing now to renounce Mephistopheles and achieve salvation…but not quite yet, not yet. No. Time for a last throw of the die, surely…

The National Plan…

While we, his swimmy-headed audience, look-on in stunned, almost stupefied amazement at his desperate attempts to hold power – power for power’s sake – and stave off the inevitable conflagration when Nu-Labour implodes, ignited by the dual sparks of ballot box and righteous indignation on the part of an electorate, sick to death of spin, lies, and corruption.

His is the sickness of this whole Parliament. The failure to recognise when enough is truly enough. The inability to do the honorable thing, to step down, to call an election for the sake of the nation! To be a man! To show honour and honesty.

Instead, this convulsive, clutching with bleeding finger nails, to the trappings of power, while an enraged electorate vilify and spurn both Prime Minister and party, demanding an election but receiving platitudes and even more spin in its stead!

To what end? For the sake of a handful of pay days between now and then, the nation must flounder? Is that it? Thirty pieces of silver?

“Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo.”

What a sad state of affairs. Any reform of our Parliament must – simply must – ensure that future Parliaments contain nothing but honourable men and women who respect the electorate of this fair land; individuals who will do the “right thing”, and who will protect our liberties, as our most precious assets. This clinging to power with a “dead man’s grip” no matter what must be consigned forthwith to the dustbin of history where it belongs…along with slavery, rotten boroughs, and religious intolerance.

“Faustus is gone! Regard his hellish fall,
Whose fiendful fortune may exhort the wise
Only to wonder at unlawful things:
Whose deepness doth entice such forward wits
To practice more than heavenly power permits.”

The Sinking Ship of State…

“But the children of the kingdom shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

St Matthew (8 : 12)

Ollie C asks who is the first to leave a sinking ship?

According to the Guardian newspaper 52 Labour MPs have applied (in writing, in joined up letters) for places in the House of Lords via Downing Street.

One “Labour figure said the keen interest in the Lords shown by the party’s MPs highlighted how disconnected senior figures are from the prime minister.”

Ollie C says it is well that we look to the future; unemployment is anathema to one and all, and every attempt must be made to find gainful employment. Perhaps those Labour MPs who find their application to join their Lordships unsuccessful, should, on losing their seat in the Commons, consider emigration? Canada, for example? Also there are great opportunities within the construction industry in Poland currently?

Greed and the National Plan, routemap for New Labour’s future

Any society attracts those politicians who best reflect the majority concerns and interests. Ollie Cromwell says our society is in part a mirror image of our elected representatives in Parliament. If they are obsessive in their desire for self-aggrandizement, egoistical and self-centered then that self-interest is manifestly apparent in, and very much shared by the electorate they represent.

Ollie Cromwell says it is apparent that the majority concern in this country is with MONEY. The failure of the economy because of absurdist behavior – on the part of bankers, the government, and the general public – gave birth to the universal cry of “Hang the bankers”…who, in actual fact, had followed the Chancellor of the Exchequer’s lead on the road to hell…and those very large pension benefits and payouts.

Now, courtesy of the newspapers, the great public ire is aimed at Parliament, or rather our elected representatives there, and their manipulation of expenses to gain pecuniary advantage. ‘Drag out the MP’s and hang ‘em!’

Why?

They’ve abused our trust! They’ve had their noses in our tax trough!

Ollie Cromwell says, My good God! Is this not yet another example (if one were actually required) of how morally bankrupt our society is?

Money, money, money…the great idol of Mammon, God of cupidity and avarice, is rolled out for all to worship and adore…was it not de Plancy who described Mammon as ‘hell’s ambassador to England’? Oh, how the angry mass of people love that golden calf!

Of course much of the anger is grown from simple avarice.

Most political commentators know full well that Mrs. Thatcher as Prime Minister allowed a system of remuneration via the expenses system in Parliament in order to avoid unpopular increases in MP’s salaries. Under Mr. Blair’s Prime Ministership the system became legion. The New Labour ship sailed on a sea of superabundance. Prodigality was encouraged…was that not what socialism was all about? The redistribution of wealth? This time from the pockets of the taxpaying electorate, into the pockets of threadbare politicians…some of whom were down at heels millionaires.

So, to quote the great Thomas Aquinas, “Mammon being carried up from Hell by a wolf, coming to inflame the human heart with Greed” touched the heart of the ‘Mother of Parliaments’ and ultimately provided a dramatic boost to the circulation of the Telegraph newspaper, self-appointed guardian of the nation’s taxpot, and media meridian of Parliamentary cupidity.

Do they not appreciate that “Money is like muck, not good except to be spread” (to quote Bacon)? And what better way of spreading it? Taxpayer to MP, MP back to taxpayer (for clearing the moat, or supplying the bathplug)?

We have a Government that has presided over unprovoked and aggressive war against others; that has consistently reduced civil liberties; that has been incredibly profligate; that has allowed immigration to run wild; and that has frequently lied to the electorate on matters of great importance. But it is the “theft” of their MONEY that has riled the great British public against Parliament and the Government.

Now there is demand for electoral reform. Proportional Representation is the new “BUZZ” word. Blairite New Labour played lip service to this, but quickly dropped the idea when they saw the size of their majority in the Parliament. Now for New Labour it’s back on the agenda – after all, it’s probably the only way they’ll ever achieve any taste of power again over the next couple of decades.

Ollie Cromwell says, (quoting Bacon once again) be careful you do not “Cure the disease and kill the patient.”

PR in Europe has meant that minority parties (hence minority views) often hold sway; they control the balance of power, dictate policies anathema to the majority as price of their support. Take Austria as an example:

For less than two years the country was run by a “grand coalition” government of the two largest parties, the Social Democrats and the center-right People’s Party. Everybody hated this arrangement, though, and it didn’t get much done (it never does).

Elections were held in September 2008 after eighteen months of Government.

Result: both large parties were hammered. The Social Democrats dropped from 36% to 30%, and the People’s Party from 35% to 26%. (Ironically, it was the People’s Party forced the election).

The big winners? Austria’s two nationalist-populist-immigrant hating parties, the Freedom Party and the Alliance for the Future of Austria. The Freedom Party jumped from 11 to 18 percent of the vote, while the Alliance went from 4 to 11 percent. Together, they’re now as big as either of the two traditional (large) parties. Since November the SD and CRPP have formed an even weaker coalition government and continued to hold power, despite pressure from the far right, and despite being very unpopular with a good 45% plus of the population.

There’s little doubt that given another twelve months or so, Austria will  have to face yet another general election.

Is this really an improvement on ‘first past the post’? It is certainly a system that more often than not results in less stable Governments, so very frequent elections. But a very large number of Austrians are very, very unhappy with their Government!

For now Gordon Brown pins all his hopes on “The National Plan” which he will present to the waiting world after his party losses all its seats in the June elections. It will be the routemap by which he, messiah-like, leads the country from the valley of the shadow to the high ground of public service reforms; it will impact on law and order, on the economy, health, education, and industry…It will be, in short, his last will and testament; his final thrust for survival before Gotterdammerung overtakes him and his beleaguered party…after all, major Parliamentary reform is not going to take place before the next general election.

One cabinet minister reportedly said: “We can’t contemplate a general election while it would be a referendum on Parliament or OUR RECORD.”

Ollie C said nothing, instead he fell about laughing!

God forbid that an election should ever be fought on the issue of a government’s record while in office!

Still, whatever else, we can rest assured the plan will be a good one. There is no secret to the fact Prime Minister Brown called ex-Prime Minister Blair to number ten for urgent talks which touched on the domestic situation and “The National Plan”. Mr. Blair, now positioned semi-permanently at God’s right-hand, will have given good, sound advice (hopefully not for another invasion of some third world dust bowl), for overcoming “Pandemonium, the high capitol of Satan and his peers”.

Mr. Brown has Mr. Blair’s ear, and he in his turn has the ear of God; what better allies could a Prime Minister in the midst of disaster desire? The National Plan will be as:

“A shout that tore hell’s concave, and beyond
Frightened the reign of chaos and old Night.”

Ahhh, and delivered with such Miltonic gusto, to be sure! And yet Mr. Brown should take satisfaction in small mercies….after all, he has not been asked to explain why it was necessary for him to claim expenses for two different second homes, while living in the same “grace and favour” flat for the past twelve years. Nor why he placed the flat he purchased from the Maxwell fire sale in his wife’s name, at the same time switching his second home designation to Scotland…certainly he would not have done it to avoid paying the Capital Gains Tax….would he?

And Ollie Cromwell says, it is good that a Scotsman’s home is in Scotland. Long may he remain there at peace with his God and his conscience and the Inland Revenue.

Yobbocracy Party – advice for a beleaguered Prime Minister

Ollie C has today written privately to our beleaguered Prime Minister making suggestions of possible changes the great man might like to initiate should his party fail to achieve power after the next General Election.

NuLabour may appear to be in tatters, but fear not; the party can be “reinvented” once more. Ollie C would suggest a name more in keeping with the political aims of the party, for example, The Yobbocracy Party has a certain ring to it, would you not agree?

Members would no longer be addressed as Socialists, Lefties or Mad Trots (not to suggest that NuLabour contains any of these archaic specimens, of course); but instead party members would be known universally as Yobs.

Thus the Yobs of the Yobbocracy Party would (democratically) decide policy for the newly launched party.

 These policies might follow tradition with “targets” for Child Poverty (obviously poverty has always existed, and probably always will; therefore any policy of this sort is designed to look good on paper, assuage the greedy, guilt wracked consciences of the electorate – those not living in poverty, at any rate – thus increasing the chances of winning any election).

Increased police powers to combat growing crime (which will help generate additional revenue from speeding fines, etc – with the extra advantage that local authorities can spy on everyone, using all that anti-terrorist surveillance equipment you purchased this time around).

Finally the NHS which is currently the largest employer in the world, could be “improved”! Where there is frequent controversy over diagnosis, the Yobs of Yobbocracy will double the number of doctors, thus ensuring each patient has at least two doctors simultaneously handling his/her diagnosis.

Those I think will be the key issues. Certainly It might arise that Britain has the rail system of a third world country. But the Yobs will do nothing about this. It reflects the British character, the eccentricity at the heart of each and every one of us, in all our multi-cultural splendor.

Yes, the Yobbocracy Party could well achieve power, and England would be in the hands of the Yobs for a good few years. However you may feel politics is no longer for you? In case this is the situation, I have designed a small advertisement for you, highlighting your unique selling points:

PRIME MINISTER FOR SALE
Compact, part-used but in fair condition considering.
Clean-shaven, with a new pair of rubber soled shoes, and a new make-up kit in a red-leather brief case.
Low maintenance. Can live on seaweed and hope.
Handy, spinable, used to handling large sums of money.
Kilt owner.
Together with:
A6MA Mitsubishi Tomitia-Fuji Calculator (needs new battery).
OFFERS PLEASE.
(would consider exchange for Organ Grinder’s Monkey)

Speaker Martin must GO!

To Mr. Speaker, Michael Martin,

Was it not Quentin Letts of the Daily Mail who nicknamed you “Gorbals Mick”?

Can there be any truth to the story that you once dismissed your secretary for failing to show sufficient respect?

“She called him Mr Martin. That was insufficiently respectful. He wanted to be called Speaker Martin. Or perhaps more correctly Mr Speaker Martin,” according to the Independent newspaper.

Sir, you are a disgrace. Get you gone from the sight of honest men. Get you gone now.